Yesterday Was A Beautiful Day And I Almost Missed It

Yesterday truly was a beautiful day, and I almost missed it.

My heart breaks for all of those who have succumbed to the dark pressures of depression and are no longer with us.  That sentence does not say enough for them, but they are in my thoughts, especially days like today.  I believe some might even be angels, giving me strength and helping me last this long and make it to this great emotional place.

I was able to witness a milestone for little Michael.  He is out of kindergarten and officially a 1st grader!  So technically, I have two 1st graders right now, since Sophia is still in school until Friday.

It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago I was telling my husband I didn't care about being around for any of our children's graduations, weddings, anything...

I am so grateful for friends and family that reminded me of their love for me, and gave me strength.  Don't ever pass up an opportunity to tell someone you love them.  You never know- YOU might be the only person in the world they believe.

To all those having a down day, week or month...or more...think happy thoughts, surround yourself with loving, genuine people and remember that whether or not you feel it or believe it, YOU ARE LOVED, NEEDED and PRICELESS.  Luv, Eva

Slides, Belly-flops & Picking Myself Up Again

I've been editing and posting pictures like crazy of our family activities this past spring, and most recently my kids' school carnival.  (If you'd like to see some please become my "friend" and check 'em out. :))  Since all of our family is at least a state away, Facebook and other photo sharing keeps us connected.

Anyway, I came across some pictures I'd been meaning to write about from some moments with my family that especially inspired me...

 Just kidding about that one!  Although I do have an inspirational Mario Kart moment, but another time...

I meant this one...

 ...and this one.

Little Sam is almost 2, and like most kids his age he does not know how to give up.  Whether it's climbing a mini rock wall, vying for a toy, asking for a treat...he will try and try and try until he gets what he wants accomplished.  Sammy literally slid down this wall (on his adorable, cute, belly) several times before finally making it to the top.  And then he was off to his next challenge!  

There was no "Ok, where's my prize?" or "Now I need my break."  He just KEPT GOING!

Now I'm not saying I never want a break, because I like breaks.  And I'm not saying I don't want a prize because I love prizes!  (Especially chocolate prizes!)  But I am saying that I wan to be more like Sam in my climbing-sliding-climbing endurance skills.  

I want to do a better job of picking myself up again and reaching for the top no matter how many times I belly-flop and slide down.  

Because maybe life isn't about just getting to the top anyway.  Maybe it's more like the slides my kids love, meant to have a high, beautiful view,

 then some descents,

  and then an opportunity to rise again.

 

If that's the case, which every day I believe more and more that it is, I want to enjoy the ride (and slides) a lot more.  Kids have to grow and adapt so much and still find fun along the way, yet I know I make myself out to be the victim when things are hard.  

Does Sammy have a pity-party when he has to try more than once to climb his little mountain?  Nope.  Do Sophia and Michael complain about having to climb the stairs to get to ride down the slide?  Never.  

I love my kids.  As hard as it is to raise them sometimes, they are worth every moment, every minute, every slip, fall, belly-flop, slip and slide I find myself taking along the way.  There are a lot of  other things I could have done with my life, but taking the chance to grow with them is the greatest mountain I've been privileged to climb.  Best of all, they remind me to laugh, keep trying and be silly even in my worst belly-flop moments.  Thanks kiddies.  And thank you Sammy.   

Love, Eva

Ugly Ducklings, Swans & "Real Beauty"

I am lucky enough to get to volunteer with the young women in my church and we were recently talking about "Who We Are & Who We Can Become."  Being teenagers and living in today's world, of course we had to talk about "beauty."  It's so sad to me that in this world our physical appearance has become such an important standard for comparison that people literally spend MILLIONS of dollars a year trying to change the way God made them.  And "looks" aren't even REAL BEAUTY...

Real beauty is moral character.
Real beauty is charity.
Real beauty shows through the light in your eyes because you are truly happy, because you know you are trying your best, and that IS good enough.(I didn't always believe that.)
Real beauty is compassion in all circumstances.
Real beauty is honesty and humility in any situation.
Real beauty cannot be bought, tucked, or implanted.
Real beauty is someone who walks with their head held high because they know who they are, who they can become, and they conciously work on becoming that person. 
Real beauty is trying again even when you mess up.
Real beauty is courage.
Real beaty is love, even for YOURSELF, the way you are RIGHT NOW.

I mentioned the Dove Evolution Commercial to comment on how every image we see in magazines has been edited- every one!  I know this because I edit every picture in my albums, at least for color.  In fact, Julia Roberts will not let a magazine publish a picture of her unless it has been edited enough which is why a European country wouldn't publish a spread of advertisements with her in them- they actually have laws against publishing pictures that have been edited too much in other countries!!! But, I digress.

I thought everyone had seen this ad, but I guess when it came out these girls had just learned to ride their bikes, so I had to explain it and email it to them.  Here it is for your viewing...

Crazy.  Too contrast how you might feel after watching this, check out these other two videos.  The first is a beautiful song about the value of women- we have "SO MUCH TO OFFER."  I'm so glad some sweet person made a slideshow to go with it too. 
                                     
Finally, (I love this video clip) in "Our True Identity" there's a short re-telling of The Ugly Duckling.  Just as the ugly duckling learns he is really a swan, WE ARE ALL SWANS. :)  I kmow that because our Heavenly Father made us and He doesn't make ugly ducklings.

Don't ever forget who you are, how important you are, how valuable you are.  You matter.  Luv, Eva

A New Year, A New Look...On Life! :)

As you may have noticed (or may not have- I tend to obsess about details...), my blog has a new look and a new name.  Usually I go with bright colors for my design but I loved this image of a bird flying out of it's cage and being FREE!  Even though the textures were distressed and the colors were dark, that really made the beauty of the little bird's freedom even greater.  (Yes, I really do read this deeply into the symbolism of blog templates LOL)

I really felt like that little birdy represented me.  I am very open about the fact that my life has put me in some very dark places.  God challenges and tests all of us to our most fragile extremeties.  If you haven't been there yet, you will.  If you have or are there right now, you are not alone.  I went from happy-Homecoming-Queen-full-ride-scolarship-3.98-GPA-cheerleader-girl to...anorexic-bullemic-on foodstamps-sobbing-and-calling-her-husband-everyday-at-work-suicidal-mother-of-3.  Crazy, huh?  Especially when alcohol and drugs WEREN'T EVEN INVOLVED!!!  And I have an incredibly supportive family!!  But it can happen to anyone.

This life is meant to be a test, a challenge to stretch us farther than we thought possible or even wanted to go.  And I can honestly say now, being on the other side of things, I AM SO GRATEFUL for those experiences.  I know it sounds cliche, but it's true.  I do feel like I can love others more deeply now.  I more empathetic.  I appreciate what I have mroe.  I have greater patience and charity for others, especially those in similar cirumstances.  And I freely express that I think I got off easy, so many people endure daily much more than I had to.

My new outlook on life this year it this- don't expect everything to be perfect before you do what matters most to you.  If  I had waited till I felt this depression-free to really kiss and express love to my husband, he would have been waiting 8 years!  He probably wouldn't have still been around, I don't think I would have.  But through it all, we still were loving and enjoyed the good days as fully as we could, even if that just meant watching a show together on our lumpy couch. :)

I'm so glad I apologized each time I yelled at my kids and read them stories and tucked them in when I felt well enough too.  There were nights mommy put herself on time-out and couldn't last till bedtime with a smile on her face, but I didn't wallow.  Ten minutes later were a new ten minutes that could still hold an I-Love-You for my kids that we all needed.  Things weren't perfect, but they didn't need to be to share love.

"When Life Gets Dark I Look For Stars" is a title I wanted to use for a self-help book with all my stories.  I DO NOT have time energy to be trying to write a book right now (not with 2 home business in the works!) but I am not waiting for that "some day" anymore to share what's helped me physically and emotionally.  I'm not waiting for so-called "perfect" scenarios in which to exercise, cook, clean, write books, write symphonies or anything else!  I'm just going for it now and living now the best way I can, with no regrets, free. 

I may never write a full book, but at least I'll have kept a blog.  I may never perform in a musical again, but at least I'll perform for my kids (BTW if you want to videos of us dancing LOL make sure you are my friend on facebook!) I may never run a marathon, but all the miles I've walked in my living room while watching My Fair Wedding have been great.  I may never have a CD for sale on itunes, but my songs can be on YouTube and that can still help others and be a fun, creative outlet for me.  In other words STOP waiting, and START LIVING!

The only person that can cage you up is you.  But you are also the one that has the key to set you free.

Luv <3 eva="eva" p="p">

Footprints In The Snow

I was looking outside my kitchen window yesterday and feeling a little down.  On Wednesday, the 2nd!, I had already had my official first meltdown of the year.  Ugh.  It felt like no matter how much I tried or how much I taught, demonstrated, lectured, laughed patiently, or explained "punching isn't nice" in a variety of tones, my children were just not learning ANYTHING!

The bedrooms were a mess and any mere suggestion at picking up a dirty sock was met with whines of protest.  The living room looked like it had been hit by a hurricane only there would be no rescue team to help clean up the disaster because they weren't "done finishing their game."  Homework?!  But they just endured 20 minutes of that torture yesterday!  I was starting to feel like a failure as a mother...

And of course all of this was as I ws trying to leave and enjoy my first evening as a Young Women's leader in our church.  I finally got in the car, saying a mental prayer and hoping I could change my mental attitude in the 2 minute drive over...

I must be a terrible mother and teacher because they are not learning anything.

I corrected my thought a little.

I must be a bad teacher because they are not learning very fast.

I corrected it a little more.

I'm teaching them but they are just not learning as fast as I want them to.
But they are only 6 and 5...

And even more.

They are learning little by little and you are doing the best you can.  It's going to be ok.

Fastforward to yesterday.  Looking outside my window I could see little footprints in the snow. 

Most likely they are from our two kittens that must of been tigers in another life.  I had no idea they had bolted and ran in so many places!  Our yard is over an acre and I could see these cute little pairs of prints tracked in loops, zig-zagging through and under play-equipment all over the yard.

I started thinking.  If I could really see my "emotional footprints" or the "developmental footprints" of my kids, I would be AMAZED at the journey we've made so far. 

It's hard to keep track of that progress visually.  Like with our kittens, I don't usually know how much ground those little cats cover.  But with the fresh fallen snow to make prints in their path was clear.  And as I whispered a little prayer of love to my Heavenly Father it was clear to me that my family and I have come along way too.  I felt an overwhelming warmth in my soul, and I knew I could be proud of the efforts I was making as a mother.  I fel calmed, grateful and happy, oh so very happy to be at this place in my life.

A few minutes later snowflakes began to fall again, covering any evidence of footprints with a blanket of white.  And just as quckly, that swell of love in my heart dwindled down to embers again, still burning but just a memory of what they had been. 

Still, I am grateful for that memory and witness that the work I am doing is worth it.  And someday, maybe not in this life but definitely in the next, we will see or own "footprints in the snow."

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old...My Non-New Year's Resolutions

I remember singing that song at Girl Scouts when I was in the 5th grade.

Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silve and the other's gold

As this new year starts and many of us are making our new year's resolutions or avoiding them :), I've been kind of caught up with the opposite thought.  I want to make sure that I keep doing the things that have worked well for me and helped me this past year. 

Here's my Top Ten, I mean Top Five List (you will see why when you get to #5) that I hope can help you too!

1.  Go to bed earlier!  Seriously- some nights my hubby and I were happy to crash and fall sound asleep as early as 9:30.  9:30!!!  We're such old people. LOL  Even if you can't do this every night, every little bit of extra sleep has helped me and my moods A LOT!  Try it.

2.  Get the kids to bed earlier!  I read a great article by a doctor that was approached by a friend.  The friend's child was 7 and was still having EXTREME tantrums.  The family thought the child could be ADHD or bipolar.  Instead, the doctor said to get the child to bed no later than 6:30 for 2 weeks, and to send them to their room whenever a tantrum was developing.  I'm not saying there's no such thing as a chemical imbalance (trust me, I take 90 mgs a day of meds) but a lack of sleep can throw off your balance too.  We've been getting Sophia to bed closer to 6:30 and are happy her tantrums have been fewer and less intense.

3. Get enough fiber.  I take 3 yummy gummies a day, along with a diet of vegetables and whole grains.  When I get blocked up (lovely, I know- but I HAVE to share what's helping...) OK, so when you get blocked up toxins get released into the body which really messes with all sorts of stuff.  For me it's my mood and how I feel overall.  I missed my fiber gummies 3 days in a row and was already starting to get super depressed again.  I wasn't absorbing nutrients anymore; I was getting the toxins and it was affecting me for the worse.  Fiber has helped me & I'm definitely going to keep it up!

4. Walk EVERYDAY!  A simple 30 minute walk is almost always do-able.  Even if you don't sweat a drip it will do wonders for you.  Again, I don't know completely why, but the days I have my walk, even in my living room :) watching a fun or suspenseful show on Netflix, I just feel better. Some days I don't feel like walking but I still do it.  I know I will regret it if I don't! :)  Plus if there's one thing every counselor I ever saw said it was this, so I'm doing it and loving it (most days. LOL)

5. Commit to less.  Like this blog, it felt daunting to write it because I wanted it to be brilliant.  Than I told myself, it doesn't have to be brilliant.  It just has to be something.  Get your hands wet.  Jump in and get the fun started.  And it doesn't have to be a Top Ten list.  It could be a list of 4 things or 2!  Do less, Eva! :)

So see if some of these simple ideas help you and do less this year!  You might find it does more for you.  :)  Happy 2013!  Please follow me and Like my post!  I would love to have more reader-friends to share stories & helpful tips with.

Luv, Eva

So, WHY Do Mormons NOT Drink or Smoke??

Hi!!! 

It's been TOO long, but I'm so excited and grateful to be sitting here typing again.  The kids are kind of settled in school, we are pretty much moved in, and it's as quiet as it's going to be so I'm seizing the moment and writing! :)

Today, as far as health, I thought I'd address a topic a little closer to home for me.  Usually, I keep this blog pretty religion-neutral, but today I am going to share something about my personal beliefs.  Maybe it's because of the terrible assasination of Malala Yousufzai who was shot and killed for sharing her views.  I can so easily share mine and rarely do.  Maybe it's because I registered to vote for the first time yesterday (I know, it's embarassing- I'm almost 30 and never have before!)  Or maybe it's because of everything on the news as another debate approaches and one of the presidential candidates is Mormon, or a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint.  Probably, it's because I "happen" to be teaching the lesson in church this Sunday and was assigned the topic of "Temporal and Spiritual Blessings of the Word of Wisdom." So I thought I would take the time to answer the question "Why Do Mormons Not Drink or Smoke?"

Well, there are a lot of reasons and at the same time, just one.  The chapter called The Lord's Law of Health in the LDS Church Gospel Principles Manual explains it this way:

"One of the great blessings we received when we came to earth was a physical body. We need a physical body to become like our Heavenly Father. Our bodies are so important that the Lord calls them temples of God (see 1 Corinthians 3:16–17; 6:19–20). Our bodies are holy.

 

"Because our bodies are important, our Father in Heaven wants us to take good care of them. He knows that we can be happier, better people if we are healthy. The Holy Ghost can be with us if our bodies and minds are clean. Our Father knows that we face temptations to treat our bodies unwisely or to take harmful things into them. For this reason He has told us which things are good for our health and which things are bad. Much of the information God has given us concerning good health is found in Doctrine and Covenants 89. This revelation is called the Word of Wisdom."

 

One of the big differences between my beliefs and those of other Christians is that Mormons believe God still talks to prophets, just like he did in times of the Old Testament and times of Christ.  I know that might sound crazy at first, but I find it logical and comforting.  If I believe in a God, a Father in heaven that loves me, wouldn't it makes sense that he still talks to prophets and tells us how we can live a happy life and be closer to Him? 

 

The Word of Wisdom is a revelation that was given to the Prophet, Jospeh Smith, on February 27th 1833.  At the time, the brethren were using tobacco during their meetings.  Both he and his wife Emma, who was cleaning the room afterwards, wondered if it was good for them to smoke and use tobacco.  Joseph prayed about it and received the Word of Wisdom.  Here is a link to a 2 minute video about this and what the Word of Wisdom is...basically it's a code of what is good and not good for our bodies.

 

Here is an explanation of what we do and don't do to stay healthy, again from our Gospel Principles Manual.  Please keep in mind that the exact revelation of the Word of Wisdom (in which we were taught not to drink alcohol, coffee, smoke, or use tobacco) came in 1833, WAY before any scientific evidence of these substances harms to the brain, a fetus, our lungs, etc. 

 

"The Lord commands us not to use wine and strong drinks, meaning drinks containing alcohol. The First Presidency has taught that strong drink often brings cruelty, poverty, disease, and plague into the home. It often is a cause of dishonesty, loss of chastity, and loss of good judgment. It is a curse to all who drink it. (See “Message of the First Presidency,” Improvement Era, Nov. 1942, 686.) Expectant mothers who drink can cause physical and mental damage to their children. Many automobile accidents are caused each year by people who drink alcohol.

 

"The Lord has also told us that “tobacco is not for the body” (D&C 89:8). It is harmful to our bodies and our spirits. We should not smoke cigarettes or cigars or use chewing tobacco. Scientists have shown that tobacco causes many diseases and can harm unborn children.

 

"The Lord also counsels us against the use of “hot drinks” (D&C 89:9). Church leaders have said that this means coffee and tea, which contain harmful substances. We should avoid all drinks that contain harmful substances.

 

"We should not use drugs except when they are necessary as medicine. Some drugs are even more harmful than alcohol and tobacco (which are also drugs). Those who misuse drugs need to seek help, pray for strength, and counsel with their bishop so they can fully repent and become clean.

 

"We should avoid anything that we know is harmful to our bodies. We should not use any substance that is habit forming. We should also avoid overeating. The Word of Wisdom does not tell us everything to avoid or consume, but it does give us guidelines. It is a valuable temporal law. It is also a great spiritual law. By living the Word of Wisdom, we become stronger spiritually. We purify our bodies so the Spirit of the Lord can dwell with us.

 

"Fruits, vegetables, and wholesome herbs are good for us. We should use them with wisdom and thanksgiving.  The flesh of birds and animals is also provided for our food. However, we should eat meat sparingly (see D&C 49:18; 89:12). Fish is also good for us to eat.  Grains are good for us. Wheat is especially good for us.

 

"In addition to Doctrine and Covenants 89, other scriptures tell us how to be healthy. They tell us that we should “cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; … cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” (D&C 88:124). We are also told, “Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work” (Exodus 20:9). The Lord counsels us not to labor more than we have strength for (see D&C 10:4).

 

"A latter-day prophet has told us that we should keep our bodies healthy. He counseled, “Nutritious meals, regular exercise, and appropriate sleep are necessary for a strong body, just as consistent scripture study and prayer strengthen the mind and spirit” (Thomas S. Monson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 60; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 46).

 

"Our Heavenly Father has given us health laws to teach us how to care for our bodies. The scriptures tell us about God’s laws: “No temporal commandment gave I … , for my commandments are spiritual” (D&C 29:35). This means that His commandments concerning our physical state are for our spiritual good.

 

"When we keep the Lord’s law of health and obey His other commandments, the Lord promises to bless us physically and spiritually.  Physically we have been promised good health. As a result of this good health we “shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint” (D&C 89:20). This is a great blessing, but the spiritual blessings He has promised us are even greater than the physical ones.

The Lord promises us that we “shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures” (D&C 89:19). We will be taught important truths by the Holy Ghost through revelation.

 

"President Boyd K. Packer taught: “Our physical body is the instrument of our spirit. In that marvelous revelation the Word of Wisdom, we are told how to keep our bodies free from impurities which might dull, even destroy, those delicate physical senses which have to do with spiritual communication. The Word of Wisdom is a key to individual revelation” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1989, 16; or Ensign, Nov. 1989, 14).

 

"The Lord also promises that the destroying angel shall pass us by. President Heber J. Grant said, “If you and I desire the blessings of life, of health, of vigor of body and mind; if we desire the destroying angel to pass us by, as he did in the days of the children of Israel, we must obey the Word of Wisdom; then God is bound, and the blessing shall come to us” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant [2002], 192)."

 

I have lived by the Word of Wisdom my entire life.  It was a great comfort to know that when I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant, that I had not consumed anything that could hurt my baby.  It's incredible to have a marriage and relationship with my parents that isn't marred by the effects of alcohol and drugs.  Substance abuse is a painful thing that affects every family, including mine through extended family.  When you can live day to day without relying on the caffeine in coffee or without being burdened by needing to take a smoke break you are more free to live your life. When we exercise regularly, get sleep, and eat healthy foods our bodies can function at their best and WE can BE AT OUR BEST! :)

 

Of course, not all my friends are LDS.  I've been to events and will all my life, where there is responsible drinking and smoking.  As a Mormon, I want you to know that I don't judge you.  Our entire religion is based on the freedom everyone has to make their own choices.  I'm just grateful that I choose to live the Word of Wisdom because of the blessings of physical health it's given me.  Every choice has a consequence and I love the consequences I've had of living the Word of Wisdom.

 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!  Thank you so much for reading.  Next time, some yummy and healthy recipe replacements for Artichoke Spinach Dip and Pizza!  Mmmmmmm.... :)

 

Love,

Eva